Desperate Housewives--Usually Enjoyable, Occasionally Inspirational

The television tides have turned. Years ago in our more struggling days, my dear wife and I would enjoy a few days at her parents house because they had a slew of cable television so that we could meet the visual equivalent of Cheetos to the human diet. Feels good going down, but contributes little if anything to my overall health. These days, we have cable in our household, and my in-laws have removed many choice in worship attendance at the cathode cathedral. Because of Chuck Klosterman, I have lowered some of my disdain for television and recognize that I don't need to be a culture snob about it--and recognize it for its contribution. I can remember all the while that moderation is more important for my television diet and recognize its artistic value rather than attempting to set myself above culture for my own gratification. I come to my in-laws during this Christmas decompression time and know I don't have to watch television for it's own sake.

I don't watch Desperate Housewives because it's a great show. I watch it because it is the only show that suits my dear wife and I after a long Sunday at work. We enjoy the characters (even if they are caricatures) and the twists, though the stories on the whole seem weak.

Tonight's episode presented a storyline for which I was surprised (in a good way) and not by a sharp plot twist. Lynette is faced with the possibility of one of her unborn children living with a disability. Whereas the other dreams highlighted in the episode often reinforce the caricatures in the show, Lynette's character is given more complex situations. How do you raise a child with a disability to raise their lives to the best situation possible? I wonder that almost every day with my child and her autism spectrum disorder. We will have to work hard for the rest of our lives to provide opportunities for daughter #1 to thrive. Some days we miserably fail. Other days, we merely wonder. Other days we peer into the future to see what is possible. Daughter #1 is amazingly artistic--she wrote and drew some books for her sister and grandparents. She invented a board game and played with her mother and grandparents. I continue to dream that she will bring great joy to others and herself with her artistic pursuits. I don't ever expect Desperate Housewives to inspire this kind of pondering, but I'm happy when it does. I look forward to getting back home to the Pacific Northwest and talk with my wife about what we saw on tonight's episode.

I thought we've had her much longer...

Check out our growing little girl scooting around our vacation in South Dakota and saying good bye to our former home.

Daughter #2 celebrated her third birthday yesterday. She's hit a language explosion--and I can hardly keep up. The conversations are a little repetitive, but I am thankful for the conversations. We still talk about messes and things that are broken along I-5, the Tacoma Dome and the "castle (cathedral)." We talk about school, which direction we can go, the merits of an immediate hamburger purchase, inquiries about the day's schedule involving Mommy, her sister, church, grandparents, great-grandparents, uncles and aunts, etc. All the talking she's doing and the words and phrases she accumulates makes me wonder what I'm missing during the day--and I miss her. Though its years before I do some serious letting go, she is in the beginning stages of going off and having some conversations of her own. Yet I love that when I walk in the door to pick her up, she drops what she's doing and SPRINTS toward me with a smile on her face and a shout of "Daddy!" from her mouth.

Daughter #2 received a scooter for her birthday, fulfilling a longtime desire to do something like her sister. Now they can scoot together at the park. We might have done that today before the Husky game, but there are bigger fish to fry today. Another birthday party and a trip to the pumpkin patch. I think the girls like Halloween more than Christmas. In some ways, it's debatable. I love autumn--but I've already written that.

The treats have been a challenge so far as the celebrations of fall and early winter accumulate, with Daughter #1 remaining on the Feingold Diet. Dr. Oetker baking products have helped us keep desired treats in the house. The girls don't like them as much as the additive-laden treats, but they are marginally acceptable. There's not a strange ingredient in Dr. Oetker products, and I don't feel funny after eating them. But they do taste different--and actually pretty good once aware of the original differences. I think they added to the celebratory nature of a third birthday--she's having a good time.

It seems like longer than three years with Daughter #2--in a good way.

Favorite Autumn Drives and the Fall Soundtrack

I have driven copious miles recently. Some open road driving with my family (about 3500 miles) and the most frenzied set of back and forth, traffic-weaving, kid-toting, commuting I've ever done. What keeps me more than sane in that environment is my favorite time of year--the fall color display. I will plan my life around seeing some fall colors. Sometimes I take pictures, sometimes I soak in the cool atmosphere with those I love. I could easily say the Northeast US has the best fall colors (always great, but somewhat impractical for me), but I also have other favorites:

+ Northern Minnesota around Bemidji
+ The Minnesota River Valley between Mankato and New Ulm
+ The Cumberland region in Middle to East Tennessee
+ Virginia, especially around the Blue Ridge Mountains
+ Heading toward Northern Wisconsin from the Milwaukee metro toward Ripon and Green Lake.

I forgot how great the fall colors could be in the Puget Sound region. WA-16 on the Kitsap Peninsula has quite a display of fiery orange and red fall maples with a nice contrast to the evergreens. This display reminded me of how much I did take for granted--Mt. Rainier with the Puget Sound, color burst maples, evergreens and the Olympics--all mysteriously cottoned with fog, as if Bob Ross and God worked together to burn the images in my brain. My photography can't do this justice. I need to stop and at least try.

Some songs play better for me during the autumn months. I like bluegrass this time of year and almost anything with steel guitar. I don't know why. There's a few other songs that seem to register as well. My Fall Soundtrack:

Let Me Touch You For Awhile--Alison Krauss
Gravity--Alison Krauss
Jessica--Allman Brothers
Ramblin' Man--Allman Brothers
September--Earth, Wind and Fire
Avenues--Whiskeytown
Best of Luck--Nickel Creek
Lonesome Wind Blues--Rhonda Vincent
It'll Never Be Thru With Us (Until It's Thru With You)--The Wilders
That Old Time Religion--The Wilders
Green and Gray--Nickel Creek

I think my Husky elation has turn into deflation, then maybe to wisdom

Almost nothing could diminish the joy of watching the UW Huskies beat USC in person. I think it would end up hurting if they didn't win another game the rest of season and that win ends up merely in upset lore among my football brethren, like Mississippi State beating Florida a few years ago and getting Ron Zook fired. I don't want that game to be only a fun victory in an otherwise lost season.

The game today against Notre Dame was a dagger, because the victory over USC is looking more like luck all the time (though I really don't believe that). The Huskies have the talent at QB and receivers, and a mere few on defense, but it's not enough to play with the big boys. To secure momentum, they almost have to win next week at home against Arizona. The games don't get any easier. I want them to give Arizona a beat down and get some momentum back.

Though my life doesn't hang on the Huskies success, it's fun to follow the UW and gives me a little bit of reflection about from where I come. It represents my Granddad and his GI bill, a dream, and being the first member of his family to graduate from college, my father and him scraping by to build some vocational hope through his education, young men learning about responsibility, work ethic and grit. Husky athletics represents some pride in a region and a particular way of doing things. Husky athletics represents the higher education experience. I know from my own personal experience as a collegiate athlete about the dark side of athletics, but I will always come back. Even if I feel deflated for a few days.

My kind of beach

The beach always ranks as a top destination spot for my family and me, but to what kind of beach shall we go? I have traveled to beaches in Southern California, Nicaragua, Virginia, Massachusetts, Florida and Rhode Island. I will always love the lower development cool, drizzly, and cloudy beaches in Washington. Sunny and warm is my least favorite weather pattern. If you're looking for sun 'n' fun, I would recommend going somewhere else.

My family made fun of Moclips, Washington, growing up. We drove there once for I don't know what reason--our destinations of choice involved places that had more services available, like Ocean Shores and Long Beach. As a kid I lived for the trip to the Ilwaco Bowl bowling alley. I prefer Moclips now. Even though we saw people walking along the beach and even saw a wedding party a few hundred yards to the south of our little spot, it felt like we had the place to ourselves. My dear wife and I escorted our children to their favorite kind of outing in the world. It doesn't matter if we hit the Puget Sound or the Pacific Ocean--they can spend hours at the beach running around, picking, digging and exploring. The boundaries are natural and wide. They run, and we kind of follow them.

However, this trip to Moclips was also about family gathering and celebrating milestones--this time, my parents 40th wedding anniversary. I once had this image that perfect family gatherings were possible, if not at least expected. I observed in my childhood that this was a fleeting desire. An attempt to hit a moving target. Family gatherings are not perfect. We all have our imperfections and brokenness, and we do our best to recognize the blessing of family and enjoy the presence of one another. We prepare meals, we play cribbage (my youngest brother trounced me), watch baseball, share stories, and of course--play at the beach. My parents got to watch the whole imperfect, but blessed conglomeration of relationships that is our family.

The reason I like going to Moclips and the Washington beaches is I get to be in my favorite weather and contemplate the gentle yet powerful process that is erosion at work, and I get to do it in a peaceful way. It's the best witness to God I've had in a long time--the evidence of God's action is all around us, yet so subtle, like the undercurrent as it peels the sand away from the bottom of my feet. I can't do a thing about that sand that moves from under my feet. With that movement of sand, I am reminded that my time of two years of part time ministry, full time parenthood and their gently rhythmic yet powerful day are coming to an end. I return to full-time employment tomorrow. I have written more than I have in years, and I've realized that writing is a foundational activity for my balance. I've learned that writing is not a good activity in and of itself--most message boards have made "the pen is mightier than the sword" concrete. Where my writing will go from here, I do not know. Though the erosion may take away the resources from one place, surely they will be deposited somewhere else.

Some places cannot be adequately described by words or photos

Crater Lake National Park epitomizes a great destination spot for me, and more often, my family.

1. It takes a certain kind of effort to get there. It took tenacity to take young children and my older (but also tenacious) in-laws to get there. We had to find an ideal place to rest our heads and accommodate the special needs of daughter #1.

2. The effort also needs to involve traversing a maze of highways that requires some map savvy and at least one, but preferably more "blue highways."

3. The more first-time traveled roads, the better.

4. A destination with beauty that takes my breath away.

5. A destination where stories of the region are available and shared through a combination of reading, imagining, or sharing a conversation.

6. A trip where relationships are strengthened through shared experience.

7. An event that displays some of the best of God's gifts and the human experience.

I'm not sure any destination can meet all seven of these points, but Crater Lake was close. Crater Lake is on the edge of nowhere--and we traveled copious blue highways to get there. We hit the wonderful Bend, Oregon, and its Whole Foods Market to stock up on minimally processed and zero artificial additive foodstuffs to feed our troops for the journey and relaxation.

Crater Lake can only be described well by the best of photographers and writers. I am almost embarrassed to post these photos. I am reminded through my photos what limited perspective I have on the nature of the universe, even when the best of it is staring me in the face. I want to return to this site with my dear wife, and explore some of the more remote places of the park. Hiking Wizard Island (an even more involved trip) is the big destination and points in the desert to the southeast. I am thankful I was able to see this site at least once in my lifetime.

Reliving the field trip through tourism

In some places I have lived, some points of the city were only viewed when visitors came from out of town:

Twin Cities, MN: Mall of America
Copenhagen, Denmark: The Little Mermaid

The Milwaukee, Wisconsin, metro had good things to do, but not in the classical tourist sight-seeing fashion. In Wisconsin, cultural tourism is the way to go. Some of the best times my dear wife and I enjoyed during our 2.5 years there involved basic activities that locals enjoy as well: eating brats/sausage, cheese and the abundance of beer; fish fries (amazing cultural activity--I once read Wisconsin is the highest fish consumption state in the country), enjoying the beautiful autumns, walking near the lake shore, attending sporting events in Madison, Milwaukee Brewers baseball, and Lambeau field. All of these places involve good interaction with locals, something that cannot be promised at a particular tourist destination. I'm not anti-tourist (though I can only handle being a tourist in small doses), I like to find places to visit where I can talk to locals about life in that place.

Seattle has more sights similar to Copenhagen and the Twin Cities. With some visitors coming to town recently, we were off to the kid-friendly stops, the Seattle Aquarium, Pike Place Market and the Space Needle. The Seattle Aquarium is an interesting conglomeration of school/summer camp field trippers, tourists, and local families. I attended at least 2 field trips to the Seattle Aquarium as a child, and visited there on other occasions. I know field trips still occur in these days of slashed education budgets and increased standardized testing, but my anecdotal observation says field trips are dying as an educational experience. That makes me feel melancholy about education. Ultimately, my children will know much more than me in their lifetimes, but I believe in the field trip education experiences I had as a child. The girls and I thoroughly enjoyed the aquarium that day--the best part being that they could touch sea cucumbers, sea anemones, sea urchins and starfish. If the place wasn't crawling with street urchins, I could have hung out there poking and gazing at the sea life for hours--ah, to explore without a schedule--but we let the girls spend the most time there. If I could have been any kind of scientist, it would have involved oceanography.

Of the non-touching exhibits, we liked the jellyfish and the seals the most. We see a lot of jellies on the Puget Sound, but at the aquarium, we were able to examine their intricacies in clearer water behind Plexiglas. Watching seals in captivity is a love-hate experience. They interact with the humans like no other sea life I have seen; they were hamming it up and made us all laugh several times. I wonder about mammals in captivity. I'm sure plenty of people are appalled by the whole enterprise, but I also value the appreciation and awareness about God's creatures that comes from a visit that my girls take to the Seattle Aquarium.

The Space Needle is a place for great views of Seattle and the Puget Sound, but it's not the only viewpoint available in the region. If you want to dodge people taking pictures of one another, purchase expensive provisions and kitsch, the Space Needle is for you. It deserves one or maybe two visits in a lifetime--it might have been enjoyable if the girls weren't so hungry and cranky. I think I got whiplash from keeping my head on a swivel all day--keeping track of two busy girls in a big city takes significant effort, which is probably why my parents didn't take my brothers and I to downtown Seattle on a regular basis.

Now that I have just about squarely hit midlife, I'm the one providing direction and guidance more often in more settings--this little tourist trip represented a shift of roles for me as a Pacific Northwesterner. Our visitors provided me with an opportunity to refine my cultural attache routine for whomever makes the trek to the Seattle metro. Come on over!

A fine wedding anniversary celebration

Anniversary celebrations for my dear wife and I took a revitalized path thanks to our new living configuration. Thanks to a little generosity from a congregation, my Mom and Dad, a little saving and creative searching, we had a fabulous celebration.

Dinner at Anthony's on Pier 66 in Seattle was a gift from a congregation (that did some great research) I served in South Dakota. My family has a good history of family gatherings over simple, creative, and scenic seafood meals--and my dear wife and I have made Anthony's part of our own family and relational dating tradition. We enjoy checking out the local scenery of each restaurant. I think we've enjoyed 5 locations and hope to enjoy more in the future.

We enjoyed a pleasant get away from kid clutter and household projects by staying at a nice suite and enjoying a drive across the I-90 bridge--something commuters and locals (including me at one point) easily took for granted. I admire this drive for its beauty, architecture, and the intersection of form and function. Our time of exploration and sharing were enhanced by the backdrop of beauty and utility--a celebration of gifts. For me, this is marriage at its best. Sometimes this beauty is lost in the stresses day to day living. None of this can happen without the day to day living--working together and appreciating one another doing the little things.

Chateau Ste. Michelle offers free tours. Another beautiful example of form and function convergence in a way that wanted us coming back for more. We walked hand-in-hand on the grounds, learned a little bit more about wine, and enjoyed our time together even more as we watched a couple tour with their two children (although they were AMAZINGLY behaved), appreciating our own children but thankful we had some time to ourselves. Soon after we began earning real incomes as pastors, we drove to the Wollersheim Winery in Wisconsin, enjoyed the tour and bought wine for gifts and personal enjoyment. I think we learned wine wasn't going to be a serious hobby, but when thinking of our trip to Chateau Ste. Michelle, we easily remembered what an enjoyable experience of taste, beauty and appreciation for the work and creativity of a craft can be.

There was much more that could have been enjoyed that day, but we were called back to the service of our household when we learned our geriatric canine was suffering and needed our attention. Thankfully the dog's struggles didn't happen in the early stages of our time away, but we gently moved in to care for the dog--it was the right thing to do. Caring for the dog served as a reminder of the love that brought us together and the work together that bonds with that love to uphold a household, while providing each of us the opportunity to serve in our Christian vocation while serving one another, while also being served by others. This is also a relational event for my dear wife and I that would have been much more difficult in South Dakota--a challenge for our child care situation, different work schedule challenges, and not as many dining choices. All in all, we witnessed A blessed interdependence.

The eye of a budding photographer

Daughter #1 has the eye of an artist, which I believe is related to her struggle to normally communicate with society--something like someone who is deprived of one sense has special ability to use another. The gift is raw and unrefined, but she takes a liking to artistic expression while being especially persistent.

Or, she has an itchy shutter trigger finger (or maybe some combination of with the first reason).

Our oldest daughter recently returned from a trip to Montana and Canada with her grandparents, and the first time she had control of a digital camera we gave her for Christmas almost 2 years ago. The real problem with the camera was that I struggled to integrate it with our digital production system.

Mission accomplished.

She took over 380 pictures in 3 days (thank goodness for digital photography) and revealed what is important to a child's eye (flowers, specifically) and that she enjoys framing a scene. It's hard to know what direction to point her in with artistic development, but my dear wife and I look forward to the possibilities, and I hope our daughter enjoys her growth.

Sparse posting in August

August is shaping up to be a fun month, and without a fabulous smartphone in my possession, vacation will keep me from posting at my new normal pace.

On the docket for August:

+ An anniversary celebration with my dear wife--although that anniversary is in September, with employment on the horizon, we thought this was a better time to do it while I'm not working. Congregational service has killed our getaways before, most namely, tickets to see RENT in Milwaukee. We are going to enjoy a seafood meal, with a nice suite and a trip to Washington wine country.

+ A trip to Crater Lake National Park in Oregon. I've wanted to go here for years, but our trips back to the Pacific Northwest have never afforded us the time to go outside of visiting family and friends. Now that we live here, it's time to check it out. We rented a vacation home in Sunriver, Oregon. I'm thrilled with the possibilities.

+ A family gathering to celebrate my parents' 40th anniversary and their birthdays on the Pacific Ocean for a few days. We haven't had a family gathering like this outside of a birth for years. We're looking forward to watching the kids frolic in the ocean and go back to some days of taking our beach vacation on the cool, windy and overcast beach. My kind of beach--though it could be sunny and warm, the odds are low that it will be blazing hot. Pacific Northwest beach fun is my kind of beach fun. It's usually around 15-20 degrees cooler on the coast in the summer than the Seattle metro.

I will bring some photos and reflections back with me, and report it the old-fashioned way--not in real time. I hope you have some peaceful days in August as well.